soulful thirst traps
for the "see me" souls not the "pick me"
In a time when images are being manipulated, perfected by AI. Not to mention plastic surgery alterations. We start to question who is real and who is not? Thirst traps that are so unattainably hot. Low key thinking no one real can look that perfect.
I fear we’ve become numb to the raw, multilayered, beauty of the real humans.
My hustler of a best friend opened the dating door by being on dating apps. Desiring romance, connection, a partner. But not the biggest priority. Rightfully so she’s hustling.
Since I am a serial dater, she asked me to curate her profile. I open to find cute photos with her startup bio. Clearly in her boss era. The profile is one note.
I know her for all of her nuances. The cute face she makes when drinking good chai. The joy when finally figuring out a GTM integration. The spark of inspiration she brings in collaboration. The power she wields with empathy. The mysterious yet calm clarity she has when navigating a crisis. All these sides I do not see on the profile.
What creates intrigue is variety. I told her straight up, you need to take a thirst trap. She said, “Alex I don’t know how to take a thirst trap. Nor would I even think to take one.”
So I asked Why not? Barriers? Why don’t you see yourself as a sensual human?
Not sexy enough
Not something I think about
Need to go to the gym
Never hot enough
Not confident enough
Seems like a lot of work
Which I too have been through phases of being uncomfortable in my body, feeling shy, and low confidence. But somehow came out on the other side of a short lived modeling career knowing how to take a thirst trap. Unfortunately lead to over-performing at times. But I’ve learned to strike a balance between wholesome and mystery. Cute and sexy. Grounded and adventurous. Simply all about angles, expression, and embodying my truth.
So this is for my cute, shy, hustling friends and sisters who are drowning on the dating apps. Watching their profiles be swiped by in the quad. For the those that struggle to see yourself as sexy, sensual, and multi-layered.
Soulful thirst traps are an energy that seduces through sincerity.
flirt for vibe, not validation
Thirst traps are flirtatious by nature.
The traditional thirst trap is all sex appeal. Perfectly crafted. Positioned to get optimum angles. Twisted in more ways than one. I’ve tried them and honestly they feel just as uncomfortable as they look. Overthinking leads to hollow soulless photos. It’s in the eyes.
There was a time when I flirted with photos to feel wanted. To prove I was still desirable. Still had “it.” Whatever it even was.
I’d send the text, angle the selfie, drop the laugh at the perfect moment not because I was having fun, but because I wanted a reaction. I needed proof that I was still… chosen. Still attractive. Still enough. It was subtle, but it was there. The performance of being magnetic. The fear of being forgettable.
But here’s what I’ve learned. Validation is a bottomless pit. No amount of attention can fill the space that only self-worth can occupy. Because when I flirted from insecurity, it never felt like play. It felt like work. Like auditioning for a role I didn’t even want.
Now? I flirt because I’m vibing. Because the energy feels alive. Because I’m curious about someone’s world, not desperate for them to enter mine and fix something. So in tune with myself they just want a piece of what ever it is. This is what it feels like to be soulful.
Flirting for vibe is a different game. It’s not about chasing a response. It’s about exchanging energy. Seeing what dances. What clicks. What flows.
When I flirt now, I ask myself: Would I still enjoy this if they didn’t flirt back? If the answer’s yes, then it’s the right energy. It’s rooted in freedom, not fear.
Flirting for vibe lets me stay soft without losing power. It keeps me grounded in my worth. Because I’m not trying to prove I’m lovable. I know I am.
Flirting is how I let that love spill over. Not to be chosen, but because I’ve already chosen myself.
Self-love is the real glow seen in a thirst trap.
pick me vs see me
Sitting by the pool watching this cute girl whip out her small tripod to take some pics. Sitting back to watch the magic happen. Truly beautiful to see all the angles. Whoever is on the receiving end of these should receive it as a gift. Then 5, 10, 30 minutes go by and left questioning, is this photoshoot for a “pick me” or “see me” scenario?
The main difference is the reason why we crave attention.
Thirst traps solely for validation those are the pick me traps. The ones that are so perfectly crafted not a hair out of place. Usually seen in clusters of other thirst traps. All thirst traps that are one note of an identity. Humans are more than just a compilation of contorted beautiful body parts and pretty face.
Placing more importance on being chosen rather than choosing me. When we are seen, it’s our inner world that is infinitely more beautiful than the outer container. Bypassing the past the external validation, we see the beautiful radiant soul. Being fully seen is the sensual magic and true erotic gift.
So I ask you, how can we see your soul?
flavorful, mouthwatering thirst traps are tension filled
What creates intrigue is variety. We all have different sides of ourself but why am I only seeing one side. Soulful thirst traps are less like traps more like invitations to see someone as more than one thing. Embodying the full spectrum of our contradictions. This tension creates intrigue.
If you are smart → lean playful
If you are innocent → lean mysterious
If you are strong → lean sensual
If you are tailored → lean casual in the moment
These are all characteristics of the infinite capacity of being a multi-faceted human. We all contain multitudes. Why not lean in to show our variety.
how to take a thirst trap
Whether its a photoshoot taken by a friend or selfie in the mirror. Its all about embodying the opposite within us all. What does it feel like in my body to be powerfully vulnerable? Curiously mysterious?
The soulful thirst traps don’t scream, they whisper a clue. They are not a full blown front on display, explaining everything in one photo. Leaves little to imagination. Some of the ones I like are caught in the moment. Allows one to wonder what might happen next.
Steps:
attire: skip the lingerie, opt for what feels comfortable. Could be a messy bun for those that lean always put together. Honestly nothing beats a good robe or towel. Fully covered but suggesting something more.
set the mood: play your favorite moody sensual music. Drink your favorite drink. spray the scent you can’t get enough of. feel into your senses and be present. What do you smell, taste, sound like. Exploring how it feels to be in your body. Exploring the the body playfully, slowly.
lighting: for a natural look go for golden hour, candle glow, soft sunlight thru window, sunbathing.
camera angles: just record video than screen shot.
straight on: for playful. at chest height for front on realism, intense smiling with eyes also appears mysterious.
below: for drama. embodying power looking down on the viewer. also bonus elongate legs
above: looking up for innocence. The eyes appear bigger when looking up because more of the whites of the eyes show.
expression: Eyes tell the story whether looking away showing I know you see me, I want you to watch. Looking into the camera with open eyes, chin down tells us curiosity and innocence. Think to yourself. “I know you want me, but I want me more.”
body language: feel free. open chest, relaxed jaw, playful soft hands. Mid-moment sipping something. Doing something.
soulful thirst traps
As a bi-girl. My female gaze towards men and women may be biased. Craving to see the raw beauty, softness, vulnerability of the undone ooo lewk. I admire the universality of sensuality.
Sensuality is erotic. Evocative of a yet to spark moment. Slow burn thirst traps.
Being sensual is closing your eyes and allowing yourself to feel into all your senses. What does it feel like to be in your body. What happens if I touch this part of my body? Feeling into the sensations fully.
Sensuality is not as overtly eroticized as physical sexual activities. But I think sensuality is more akin to the real raw moments of anticipation. It’s playful, imaginative, cute, real. Makes for a more honest thirst trap.
The key is to be present. This makes a thirst trap feel soulful. Your own relationship with yourself is soulful. Your body is unique, knowing your own body, is hot. It’s saying this is my heart, not just my hips. see me. makes people pause not just because you look good, but because you feel like truth.
A partner once told me, “Tell me what you want, so I can give you more.” Lemme just tell you, the mystery is dead. Invitations to play are in.
Till next week, bye yall
Here are a few examples:
Thank you, the video trick is clever because I still can't for the life of me take a selfie (still)